My Intended “First Post”

Have you ever been so enraptured in the day to day grind of life that in a random moment you see or hear something that frees your soul and you experience something so extraordinary and genuine that it inspires you? I did, the day that I decided to start blogging. I wasn’t looking for any source of inspiration that day, other than the coffee I was about to pick up before work…

Although I’m not fond of January, it was a beautiful sunset-sky with shades of blue and orange and pink and freshly powdered snow blanketed everything. I came to a stop at an intersection next to a school playground when I spotted a small child climbing a mound of snow next to the sidewalk. My first thought was, “where are your parents?!” and “your sled is going to go right into the street.” As I watched him struggle climbing the pile of snow with his sled in hand, he finally stood atop it and dug the sled vertically into the snow as if he conquered the universe. He turned around and faced my way, his eyes wondrously widened accompanied by the most sincere and gleaming smile I have ever seen in my life. His cheeks were rosy and swollen and he looked at me with a knowing smile and eye brows raised as if he was saying, “Did you see that?!” As I continued through the stop sign my sister even remarked, “AWWW did you see how happy he looked?” I did see how happy he was and I felt profound happiness in seeing something so genuine.

That’s when it occurred to me, I couldn’t recall the last time I felt bona fide happiness or a genuine sense of enjoyment. Working in customer service, I have forced plenty of smiles and repeatedly made small talk with strangers, exclaiming that I am well and responding to, “have a great weekend” with, “I sure will!” knowing well enough that I will be spending my Saturday night at work skimming through all of my friends’ Instagram pictures of their weekend adventures. I’m not saying that I don’t like my job, I just feel that I’m content and realizing that I’m content in my “Groundhog Day” lifestyle is unsettling. 

I Have Something to Confess

Earlier today, while driving home, I composed in my head the first draft of what I wanted my initial post to be tonight. I was quite delighted to explain the story that motivated me to finally get into blogging. Unfortunately, I drank way too much caffeine, way too late in the day, and have a million things that I want to say aside from my original draft. 

Suffice it to say, I have a confession. When I got home from my super productive day, which included my first trip to the gym in months (I’m ashamed), I may have had some tortilla chips and dip and also maybe some chocolate. (Ugh, sorry Becky!) However, I washed it down with water… which I’m pretty sure that water counteracts calories, right? I swear I read that on the internet… Who am I kidding? Day one of my “Couch to 5k” hasn’t gone entirely as planned, but at least I made the first step and actually got my butt on the treadmill! I’m not saying that I needed to reward myself, but I am lacking self-control these days. 

Ah, okay, not so bad admitting that, now, huh? Lesson learned today: being honest with myself. I didn’t stay on track today, but I made an effort and that is one step closer to getting where I want to be than I was yesterday. Now that I got that off my chest, I will be better able to write my original post tomorrow.